Best Beard
5. David Schlemko - Our wild card, from Phoenix, makes up for his lack of ice time with the scraggliest and perhaps best beard in the playoffs. Schlemko comes in at 5 however because word on the street is he started a little early. Nevertheless, the forest that is on his face dwarfs any other player left in the playoffs and likely scares away little children when off the ice.4. Keith Yandle - The Coyote's Yandle has a picture perfect beard. He maintains it magnificently and he should really be getting calls from Just For Men to do their next commercial. Yandle's beard is almost too perfect for playoff hockey, but I will let the growth speak for itself.
3. Dustin Penner - The Kings are a tough choice as they have many viable candidates in this category. Penner made the list because he brings an aura with he beard. He is a large man that some may say resembles a lumber jack. His beard is thick and dark and I say Penner be put on playoff postcards delivered from even the deepest wilderness parts in northern Canada.
2. Brandon Prust - Prust has it tough, having to wear a grizzly beard while living in fashion forward place like NYC. He does it beautifully however with a mane suited for a king right out of Game of Thrones. Maybe instead of King Henrik, we go with King Prust as he sets the standard of manliness amongst the baby faced Rangers.
1. Andy Greene - Greene's beard lives in it's own world. All other beards bow down to this beard. Greene's beard actually has it's own heart beat and eats it's own pregame meal. Andy Greene has taken the playoff beard to a whole new level with it's dense and dark mass billowing off of his face, and until the Devils are out of the playoffs it is the beard by which all beards will be measured.
Best Wannabe Beard
5. Alexei Ponikarovsky - On a team loaded with well attempted beards it is difficult to narrow down the best of the wannabes. Ponikarovsky has made his case with the neck beard in full force and the lack of complete connection from ear to chin and mustache to chin. Where it grows, it grows nicely, but the large areas that is does not lets him down dramatically.4. Anze Kopitar - Kopitar desperately wants a full beard, but can't avoid the dirty European stereotype. His beard is magical in it's patchiness, and shows amazing neck beard prowess.
3. Alec Martinez - Martinez is well known for his neck beard and he is no let down this playoff season. He must be given credit for growing thicker facial hair, but the patchiness still comes through and fails to make a complete connection, ear to chin. Really, Martinez's beard is an advanced form of Kopitar's. Perhaps they can team up to form one super beard...err full beard.
2. Brian Boyle - Boyle has mastered the art of the goatee. In fact, he wins best goatee of the playoffs. But the NHL playoffs is about beards and the gleaming whiteness of Boyle's face transcends the dark fullness of the minimalist facial hair.
1. Shane Doan - Doan brings the scraggly beard to new heights. The goatee is grown in so nicely on the chin, and the side of his face looks like a balding man that stuck his finger in the light socket. The effort, desire, and even execution are clearly there for Doan, unfortunately the full on hair follicles are not.
There you have it. There are many lessons to be learned from each of these men's facial growths, but most importantly it is the effort that is made that makes the playoff beard so revered.
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